-feel the weight lifted off your shoulders as you refuse to conform to impossible beauty standards and choose to love and respect your body as is. Ah, just feel the pressure melting right off you! I feel so light and free
-stop texting that piece of shit
-start ignoring people who make you feel bad about your body or are just generally unappealing troll people. Look for the kinds of slugs that like Terry Richardson or say anything bad about Mindy Kaling, or don’t give you any of their fries. That’s 120-160 pounds of easy weight loss right there, just watch it slip away as you get into a bikini and prance all around.
-clothes are around 2-3 pounds, so be naked and do naked things with a cutie
-honestly, it’s summer and you don’t need a 4 pound statement necklace at this point in time
-please, please put down the puppy you are dognapping. That is not your puppy. Please join the party now. I will forgive this but not forget, and be mindful of all puppies around you from now on.
-finish the plate of nachos you were holding. That’s a quick one pound weight loss there, look how easy that was, so simple and nice
-pee out the 4 margaritas you enjoyed on a nice hot summer day, just pee it all out baby
crucifytheverse replied to your post “Turning 26 has motivated me to go full Patrick Bateman with my…”
Teach me your ways. I could use some more meticulousness in my life.
I actually had a horrible allergic reaction to a foundation and look like utter shit, so I hope you don’t have to go down that path. Meticulous by choice is a whole other story than by necessity.
However, skincare blogs are my new addiction and this woman is teaching me all about pH of products, getting antioxidants and essential acids through facial oils, and how I want to rack up credit card debt buying skincare products from South Korea: http://www.skinandtonics.com/the-importance-of-fatty-acids-ph-moisture-barrier-how-i-eliminated-my-acne-decreased-my-skin-sensitivity/
“On numerous occasions, Prince has refused Yankovic permission to record parodies of his songs. Yankovic has stated in interviews that he has “approached him every few years [to] see if he’s lightened up.” Yankovic related one story where, before the American Music Awards where he and Prince were assigned to sit in the same row, he got a telegram from Prince’s lawyers, demanding he not make eye contact with the artist.”
Turning 26 has motivated me to go full Patrick Bateman with my skincare routine.
Kim Kardashian is coming hard for the Tumblr users’ $$$$, I see you with all these fandom references, especially the Dr. Who ones